SpongeFan257's The Simpsons Guy
by SpongeFan257
Summary: Plot: The Griffins are planning to have a nice vacation… and end up in Springfield, where they meet the Simpson family. What will happen as these two very similar families bond? Rated for language. Few Brewie references. Minor Meg abuse (Peter only).
1. When We're On The Road

A SpongeFan257 Story

_SpongeFan257's The Simpsons Guy_

_Plot: The Griffins hope to have a nice vacation… and end up in Springfield, where they meet the yellow-skinned Simpsons family. What will happen as these two very similar families bond and fight?_

* * *

**IMPORTANT - This story is unique. It's my own take on the crossover 'The Simpsons Guy', coming this fall. I am really looking forward to it and have decided to write my own version on it. The friendships are the same as the crossover, and are as follows:**

**Peter/Homer, Lois/Marge, Stewie/Bart, Brian/Bart, Meg/Lisa, Stewie/Maggie, and Chris/Maggie. The last pairing is ONLY because these two are left out otherwise for a major part of the story. But I have no idea how they will play out.**

**Meg will not be abused by anyone much in this story, only by Peter on occasion. She and Chris will still have their relationship (as it's normal anyway) but Lois and Meg are closer to each other (I HATE how Lois is now portrayed towards Meg!)**

* * *

**Chapter One – When We're On The Road**

* * *

_Plot: The Griffins are on a road trip, only for them to go on the adventure of a life-time._

* * *

"Peter! Have you got everything ready?" Lois called.

The Griffins were getting ready to go on a vacation in another part of the country. Lois looked it up, and she loved all the views and features of the hotel and the surroundings nearby.

"Nearly, Lois. Have you seen my Charles in Charge video?" Peter called out in response. "We do not move until I have it as well as my Surfin' Bird record."

"All ready, Mom." Meg said as she and her brother Chris had a suitcase each. She then added, "I got rid of the record."

"This vacation's gonna ROCK!" Chris shouted.

"Quit shouting, Chris!" Meg demanded.

"Make me!" Chris retorted before the two began to punch each other.

Lois got in the way and kept them away, "Stop fighting, both of you! I'd like to have a vacation where no one is hurt. Remember the time when we went to Disney World?"

Stewie and Brian came down the stairs, with the dog carrying the baby's suitcase.

"Tell me again why I'm carrying your damn suitcase."

"Because, Brian, you can't expect me to carry down the stairs do you?"

Brian let go of the luggage, "Well, now here you go."

Stewie continued to look at Brian, "Brian?"

"What is it?"

"Thanks." The infant went and gave the dog a friendly hug.

The woman quickly turned to see her son and picked him up, "Are you looking forward to going on holiday, Stewie?"

Stewie responded, despite knowing she would not hear him regardless, "It's gonna be all right, as long as it satisfies my expectations."

"Meg, are you sure you wanna go with us?" Lois asked her daughter, "You're gonna go to university and I don't want this vacation to hold you back from being ready to go. I mean you've gotta prepare for it and decide on what you're future's gonna be like."

Lois was concerned with her daughter's future, and she was the only one in the family (along with Brian) who ever paid attention and loved her own daughter. Meg had recently gotten a permanent make-over and got rid of some of her fat only a couple of weeks ago. She became popular in high school, and still wore the same clothing in order not to show off. That didn't change her father's views on her though, as he still abused her, but Chris slightly opened up and Stewie completely changed his attitude upon seeing that his sister was now worth seeing twice.

"I'll be fine, Mom." Meg answered, "I need to relax for a while. I've been busy trying to apply that I need some time away."

Lois smiled, "All right Meg."

Everyone then got in the car and drove off. Stewie had brought his iPad with him and began watching a video on YouTube. It was of a father getting angry at the littlest of things. In this one, he was going on vacation until he forgot his luggage. He then went on a rampage and threw his car in a nearby river. Stewie watched with a smile and laughed out loud.

Brian simply looked at the screen, and then at Stewie, "What the hell are you watching?"

"Angry Dad." The baby replied, "It's this cool cartoon about a dad who gets angry a lot. Here, he got angry when he forgot his luggage."

The screen then showed a picture of a boy with yellow skin and underneath it said, 'Made by Bart Simpson'.

"Look at him." Brian pointed at the picture of Bart.

"I know, it's pretty weird." Stewie added, before picking a new episode to watch.

After a long while, Stewie fell asleep, Brian read a book, Chris and Meg both listened to their own music while Lois relaxed and Peter drove. Peter put on headphones and began listening to Surfin' Bird, as he couldn't find his record and luckily found the song on iTunes.

Peter closed his eyes and started to sing quietly:

**Bird is the Word**

**Well Bird Bird Bird**

**Bird is the Word**

**Did Anybody Tell you About the Bird**

**Well Everybody knows That the Bird is the-**

He was interrupted from his little slice of heaven when the car started to skid away from the road and went down a hill surrounded by trees. Peter screamed, causing Stewie and Lois to wake up and Chris, Meg and Brian to be aware. Lois grabbed onto the car, Chris and Meg held onto each other and Stewie and Brian did the same to each other.

Eventually they all crashed into a tree that stood next to a sign.

Everyone got out of the car, "Peter, what the hell are you doing?" Lois yelled, but Peter still had his headphones on and was tuning her out to Surfin' Bird.

Peter soon regretted tuning his wife out as she then punched him in the face in order to get some attention from her retarded husband.

"Honey, that was rude."

Lois snapped at him, "You crashed the car into a tree and now we're god knows where and have no car to drive. Let's just try and find someone that can help us."

Brian pointed to the sign, "Look, there's a sign!"

Everyone gathered in front of the sign; it said **Springfield**. They looked beyond the sign to see a huge power plant, which seemed to be using to much power.

"Dear god, they're ruining their environment!" Stewie pointed out.

"At least they have these trees nearby." Brian noted.

They turned to see a lumberjack standing nearby, chopping down a number of trees with a large chainsaw. The family were startled at his appearance, as he looked like he was diseased.

"Ewww!" Peter moaned in digust, "He looks like he has no hygiene!"

The lumberjack looked at them, as he happened to overhear what the fat idiot had said, "And you look like you've got a cold. What's your problem?"


	2. The Simpsons Guy Theme Song Sequence

**Chapter Two – The Simpsons Guy Theme Song**

Up above, the clouds separated and revealed a laser light showing the words, 'The Simpsons' and directly below in the Church a choir was outside, and sung in unison:

**The Siiiiimpsons**

**And the Griiiiifins**

Bart was writing on the chalkboard at the Elementary School, on it said, 'I will be nice to Family Guy characters'. He stopped writing when he heard the bell and quickly left the classroom and skateboarded out the door and towards home.

Homer was working inside the plant, carefully handling a hazardous nuclear rod. But when the bell that signalled the employees to go home, the rod went inside the back of Homer's shirt.

Marge was at the grocery store, unloading all her items onto the conveyor. She did not notice the fact that Maggie was on the conveyor as well until immediately after the baby was scanned. Maggie was put inside a brown paper bag along with the rest of the groceries. Marge quickly went inside her Canyenero and drove off.

Lisa was still in the school, with her music class. She brought Meg with her. They started to stop being in unison with the others and started to play their own jazzy rhythm. The teacher immediately looked disgusted and pointed at the door. The girls were not fazed, as they played on while heading out.

Homer picked up Peter from Moe's Tavern. Peter was drunk and slapped Homer on the back while the latter was driving. The rod fell out of the car and onto the sidewalk.

Nearby, Bart had passed the rod and was skating his way around the pedestrians, who stood in his way. He stopped when he saw Stewie and Brian so they could jump onto the skateboard, which was big enough for the three of them.

Marge drove past her son and his friends with Lois, who she had recently picked up. Maggie was using a toy steering wheel to follow what her mother was doing. For her daughter's amusement, Marge honked the horn twice, which Maggie happily did as well.

Homer pulled up on the driveway and got out of the car with Peter. They had just missed Stewie, Bart and Brian when they bounced on the car using the skateboard. The dads got out of the way when Lisa and Meg rode in their direction on bikes (the latter on Bart's bike). Peter and Homer both screamed as they saw Marge, Maggie and Lois driving in their direction, about to run them over. They quickly ran inside as the car stopped _just _in front of the door.

Before the ladies got out, Lois quickly asked, "Oh, god! Where the hell is Chris?"

Then, Chris raised himself from the back seat of the car and the three turned around to see that the teen was OK.

They all went into the living room only to discover the couch was missing, and in its place a piano. The Simpsons were mortified, but the Griffins looked happy as Lois sat down and played a melody. She started to sing along to the melody:

**It seems today**

**That all you see**

**Is violence in movies**

**And sex on TV**

Peter walked to Lois' side and started to sing:

**But where are those**

**Good old-fashioned values**

Then, Chris, Meg, Stewie and Brian all stood in front of the Simpsons and sang:

**On which we used to rely?**

The Griffins then tore away the living room and everyone's clothing, to reveal a huge stage with a staircase and everyone wearing golden tuxedos, including the Simpsons. The family smiled and joined in as the Griffins got ready to sing again while dancing:

**Lucky there's a Family Guy!**

**Lucky there's a man who**

**Positively can do**

They all went up the staircase, with Peter and Homer at the top and Stewie, Brian and Maggie at the bottom:

**All the things that make us**

Lois picked up Stewie and let the baby sing his line:

**Laugh and cry!**

Everyone went to the top of the stairs, and everyone went towards the center of the platform in pairs in an ascending age order, and boys on the right and girls on the left:

**He's! A! Family!**

Peter and Homer were the last to appear, and did so by being on a raising platform and sang the last line with the others:

**Guy!**

The curtains started to close, and Peter took this opportunity to talk to Homer.

"What d'you think, Homer?"

Homer put his fists in the air, "That was great!"

Peter then went down the stairs, with everyone else following, "C'mon, we need to get back to the plot."

* * *

_What do you guys think? I thought about a Simpsons/Family Guy theme song clip so this is what I came up with. For those who have no idea what I've done here, I can explain it for you:_

_At the beginning of the Simpsons, the show's name (and the main family's surname) is sung out loud, so I added 'The Griffins', as it is the main family's surname on Family Guy._

_Each Simpson family member is picking up their friend(s) and is with him/her/them for this story. To make the intro appropriate consider this: Meg was invited by Lisa to join her; Lois went off to have fun and Marge has to pick her up; Bart runs into Stewie and Brian, who are trying to go back to the house and Homer has to pick Peter up as he is drunk. Chris, well, was actually left out, so I decided to add a scene in The Simpsons intro to suit this (Lois asking where her son was, only to see him in the back of the car.)_

_The chalkboard gag is breaking the fourth wall, as is the very end of the sequence. The couch gag is... well... the Family Guy theme song._

_The Simpsons are joining in with the Griffins, and are doing exactly what they normally do in the opening sequence._


	3. Sight Seeing and People Spotting

**Chapter Three – Sight Seeing And People Spotting**

Soon, the Griffins found themselves walking down the streets.

"Have you noticed something about these people?" Brain asked Stewie as they looked at everyone around town, who were all staring at them.

"They look like Bart and Angry Dad!" Stewie exclaimed, "I'd love to meet Bart. He's a hero!"

Meanwhile, Meg pointed at a statue, that stood in front of them, "Hey, look at that!"

Everyone looked at the statue, and read the inscription.

"Oooh! Springfield was founded by a guy named Jebadiah Springfield!" Lois looked in amazement as she took a picture of the statue.

Peter and Chris looked at the statue, particularly at the bottom. The bottom half saw Jebadiah having his foot on a bear, which appeared to be dead.

"Cool!" Chris exclaimed.

"Yeah," Peter moaned in jealousy, "They're represented by a bear while we've got a clam! Friggin' crazy!"

"Okay, everyone," Lois began to say to everyone, "We're gonna split up into three groups of two so we can see what we want," she then looked at Peter still complaining about the bear, "Or I should just go on my own."

Stewie grabbed onto Brian and faced Meg, "You'll take the Fat Man's younger self with you."

The oldest Griffin child looked at her brother and, having understood him, said, "But why?"

"Because! I would like to-" Brian instantly covered the baby's mouth, not wanting him to say another word.

"Because we would like to go see stuff that you wouldn't wanna see and that Chris wouldn't give a damn about." The dog quickly stated.

Meg shrugged, "All right, I guess so."

Stewie hugged his sister as she went to pick him up, "Thank you thank you thank you!"

Meg passed Stewie to Brian and the infant hugged the dog. Brian quickly put Stewie down. Meg took Chris with her in one direction while Stewie and Brian went the opposite way. Peter stormed off in another direction with hopes of finding a bar. Lois was the last to leave, as she took some selfies and then went in the opposite direction from where her husband was heading.

Stewie and Brian were approaching a school. The baby took a glance at the sign which said, 'SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL'. Brian then saw something through the window next to the main doors.

"Stewie, look!"

The two looked through to see a familiar looking boy writing on the blackboard. On it said, 'I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO 3:30'. Then, a bell rang to signify that he could leave, and he did. Stewie and Brian hid behind the doors as they opened, revealing the boy was on a skateboard, and rolling away from the building.

"That's Bart Simpson!" Stewie squealed in excitement.

"Huh." Brian said, "Guess he really is yellow."

"Oh, please, Brian." Stewie scoffed, "A lot of famous people are yellow. Just look at where Nickelodeon is now! Anyway, after him!"

Brian got confused, "What?"

"I want to hang out with him!"

Brian looked at the baby with doubt, "He's probably way ahead of us!"

Stewie pointed over to a bike nearby.

"Stewie, are you crazy! And it's a girl's bike!"

"Who cares? Now shut up and help me on."

Brian sighed and went over to the bike. He picked up Stewie and put him in the basket at the front while he got on the seat and pedalled away. At that moment, a girl walked out the doors with a saxophone and saw her bike was being stolen by a baby and a dog. Brian saw her reaction and pedalled faster so they were out of her sight.

"Grrr!" The girl got angry, "I bet Bart helped them! Now it'll take ages to get home!"

Very near to the school, Meg and Chris were approaching the said location and were talking amongst themselves.

"I don't get it, Meg." Chris said to his sister, "I still don't see why you needed a complete makeover to be happy with yourself."

Meg thought about the answer. It gave her confidence, this new image. She had found that life for her had been easier since the makeover and she was very glad that it had worked. The family knew that Meg felt insecure and worried on her lifestyle, but only Lois and Chris (both when not around Peter) would give her some reassurance. Sure, Brian was there for her, but he always spent time with either a girl he picked up at a bar, Peter, or with Stewie. Plus, Meg still felt awful about having tried to sexually harass Brian under false hope.

But Meg took the easier way out, "You don't like it, Chris?" she asked with a smile. Despite him being her brother, Meg knew asking such a question would shut him down.

Chris simply replied, "Well, it's better then looking at Mom all day." He then whispered, "Don't tell her I said that!"

The girl ran over to Meg and Chris, after seeing them walking in her direction, "Help me please! My bike was stolen and I need you to help me!"

Meg nodded in agreement, "Sure. We'll help. I'm Meg and this is my younger brother Chris. What's your name?"

"Lisa. Lisa Simpson."

Lisa, Meg and Chris then proceeded to run after the bike, which, in turn, was chasing after the skateboard.

* * *

"Hey, barkeep! Another beer!" Peter said, uneasily due to being intoxicated.

Peter found himself at a bar after only five minutes. The family believed that he was able to find a bar anywhere. The man had drunk at least twenty beers and was starting to annoy everyone else in the bar, including the bartender.

The bartender sighed and put a beer in front of Peter, "My name's Moe, you know." He informed, trying to converse, "As in 'Moe's Tavern'. Now please stop callin' me 'Barkeep' or I'm gonna kick your fat ass in every way!"

Peter scoffed, "Hmph! W-where I c-come from, b-bars are nicer p-p-places to be in!"

Peter was about to drink his beer but was interrupted by a citizen opening the door. He looked happy, and sat down next to Peter.

"Moe! I'll have a Duff!" the yellow man called out to the bartender.

"Sure thing, Homer!" Moe went and gave the man a newly poured Duff, which looked like the beer Peter was drinking. Moe put his arms on the table and looked at Homer, "You look happy. How was your day?"

"I got Mr. Burns to give me a vacation for a few weeks. I told him that he could kiss my ass… you know, until I go back to work in three weeks."

"Good for you, then." Moe then proceeded to carry on pouring beers for others.

Homer looked at Peter with a smile, "Hey there! I'm Homer Simpson, and I've never seen a foreigner like you here before. What brings you to Springfield?"

Peter sighed, " Peter Griffin. I crashed my car on the way to a fun time 'cause I was listening to music and singin' along while not paying attention to the road. Now we've got nowhere to stay and no car to travel around and make people without cars feel dumb and sad."

"Happens all the time. What sort of music were you listening to?"

Peter then proceeded to sing (and dance to) 'Surfin' Bird' after having found the music on the jukebox, which stood nearby.

Peter stopped to continue conversing, "And because it's cool, I lost myself in a world of paradise!"

Homer smiled, "It's a great song, I'll give you that.

* * *

_Bart is about to meet Stewie, Lisa has met Meg, Peter has met Homer (and Duff), and Homer likes Surfin' Bird! How many of you feel sorry for Marge and the kids (regarding the last part)?_

_This is a part one, and already Bart (moreso), Lisa, Homer and Moe appear in this chapter (along with the mention of Mr Burns!) Next will be Marge, Maggie and anyone else relevant to the plot in this two-part segment of the story._

_By the way, anyone get the Nickelodeon joke? Had to add it in! And see if you can spot the Easter Egg that runs for a majority of the chapter!_

_And a reminder, the Griffins have shown (in their own show, not here) that they know they're in a cartoon. Therefore, being a fan of fourth-wall breaks, I'm gonna apply that here and with the Simpsons._


	4. Friends and Families

**Chapter Four – Friends and Families**

"Peter, if you need a place to stay you can always stay with me and my family!" Homer announced.

Peter was surprised at such an offer, "You would do that, Homer?"

"Sure! Plus, it means you can teach me how to do that 'Surfin' Bird' dance you do when the song plays." Homer then looked Peter in the eye, "But you have to pass the initiation!"

"OK." Peter agreed.

Homer then took a donut from where he was sitting and held it right in front of Peter, "Look at the donut. What do you do when you see a donut?"

Peter laughed, "Are you kidding? You eat it." Peter took Homer's donut and proceeded to eat it.

"We're gonna get along fine, but we're stopping off at Lard Lad's on the way home because that was my last donut, which I managed to sneak from work."

Brian and Stewie were hot on their tracks, and were only a few meters away from Bart. The dog had struggled to keep up, especially when he was cycling through the streets. Stewie proceeded to call out to Bart.

"Hey, Bart! Bart Simpson!"

Bart turned around, to see Brian and Stewie on his sister's bike. "That's me, but who the hell are you?" he asked, still skateboarding.

"Hi! I can't believe we're actually meeting _the _Bart Simpson of the Angry Dad shorts. You're an-" Stewie was interrupted by the sight of a tree that meant that Bart, Stewie and Brian had went off-course.

Bart turned around only to realise that it was probably too late to stop. However, the boy managed to do so just before he hit the tree. Brian was not so lucky, though, as he could not stop the bike in time. The bike went towards the tree, hurting the two kids and dog in the process.

Bart was the first one to raise his head from the injury and wreckage, "What the hell, man?" he asked angrily, "You distracted me!"

Stewie and Brian got up and helped Bart, as the baby apologised, "I'm sorry, Bart. I didn't mean t-"

Bart ignored the apology, and continued to rant, "That distraction just broke my skateboard and Lisa's bike! Now she'll think I stole it and broke it! And Mom n' Dad ain't gonna make it easy for me!"

Stewie got upset at Bart's yelling, and burst into tears. Bart just crossed his arms and faced the other direction. Brian placed Stewie on his lap and tried to make him feel better by rubbing his back gently.

Brian faced Bart, "Bart, we're sorry for the damage, OK? Look, Stewie here is a big fan of your work and when we saw you at the school while we were looking around town he wanted to hang out with you. He talked me into stealing Lisa's bike and we followed you. We're sorry we broke it and caused all this mess."

Bart sighed, "It's OK, I guess. I just… Not a lot of people are very hyped up about my Angry Dad stuff, you know?"

"I'm not from around here, so I never actually heard about it until just a month ago." Stewie informed, no longer crying.

Bart took Stewie from Brian, "Don't worry, little dude! I love meeting new fans. They're better then Milhouse!"

"What about the bike and the skateboard?" Brian asked.

Bart shrugged, "My skateboard can be easily fixed, and I don't care about the bike. Let's just go before Lisa-" he looked up to see Lisa, with Meg and Chris, coming his way, looking furious, "-Crap!"

Lisa approached her brother, "BART!" she yelled, as Meg, Chris, Stewie and Brian looked fazed at how such a young girl has a loud voice. Bart, however, was unfazed, and looked rather bored.

"Yeah, Lis?" he casually asked.

"Why did you take my bike?"

"I didn't do it!" Bart immediately answered.

Lisa got irritated, "Don't use that catchphrase, Bart! I know you're lying!"

"No!" Bart protested, starting to get as irritated, "I didn't! They did!" he pointed over at Brian and Stewie, who just stood there feeling slightly ashamed while Meg and Chris widened their eyes.

"You expect me to believe a dog and a baby took my bike!?" Lisa exclaimed.

Bart immediately jumped with an answer: "Yeah!"

"Why would that be?"

"Because I don't wear white and I don't have a red and yellow skateboard!" Bart showed Lisa his skateboard, which was purple and green, "I would have put it in the basket! Plus it's a girl's bike! Why would I take it?"

"Liar!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

Bart then tackled his sister to the ground, as the two then started to have a fight. Meg turned to her youngest brother and dog and sighed.

"How could you, Brian?" she asked.

"Stewie wanted to meet Bart and the bike was the only option!"

"You could have taken the bus!"

Chris intervened, "No, they shouldn't have. The driver has dead bodies in the back of that bus."

Stewie sighed, "Look, I can fix the bike. It'll be as good as new."

Brian took a breath of relief, "See? Stewie can sort it out!"

"Fine!" Meg reluctantly agreed, "But do it somewhere where Mom won't find him. We don't want her finding out about Stewie's secret."

Lois was the only one in the house who could not understand Stewie. And on top of that he used to have the desire to kill her. Brian and Chris had always understood him, while Peter had a general understanding that the others were aware of. Meg, however, had only recently understood Stewie fully, due to her makeover and new self-confidence. Stewie knew that Meg could hear him, yet she had just decided to ignore him. Lois too ignored Stewie due to not understanding him, but she wasn't one that Stewie was trying to impress.

"Understood." Stewie saluted with a smile. He was happy that someone like Meg was around to take charge. After all, Peter and Lois _did _do a crap job at parenting.

"Now to end their fighting." Meg sighed as she went over and grabbed Bart and Lisa by their shirts (or in Lisa's case, the back of her dress).

"Whoa!" Bart exclaimed as he was lifted from the ground.

"Please stop fighting, you guys!" the oldest Griffin child commanded. "Let's just get you home."

"Can they come with us and stay for a while?" Bart asked, motioning to Stewie and Brian.

"Sure they can." Meg smiled, "As long as they walk there."

"What?" everyone but Lisa yelled.

"We're all going to walk to Bart and Lisa's house."

"That seems fair." Lisa agreed, "After all, my bike is ruined."

"And my skateboard just looks like a heap of crap." Bart also agreed, as he looked at his damaged skateboard again.

Meg, Chris, Bart (with his skateboard), Lisa (with her bike), Stewie and Brian had managed to walk to Bart and Lisa's house quite quickly and approached the front door.

"Really?" Lisa questioned as she was talking to Meg, "Your one-year-old baby brother talks? When did he start?"

"Has since he was born." Chris responded, but then crossed his arms and huffed, "And they all laughed at m-"

"Hey-diddily-ho, neighborinos and newbie-rinos!" the kids stopped and turned to see the Simpsons' neighbor, Ned Flanders.

"Hey Ned." Lisa waved.

"S'up." Bart greeted, not wanting to.

"Who's the bad-moustache guy?" Stewie asked.

"My name's Ned Flander-" Ned stopped when he realised that he was answering a baby. "Did he just talk?"

"Yeah, happens all the time." Brian stated.

"AH!" Ned screamed. "Satan's here! And he's making us all insane!" he ran toward his front door, entering his house and locking the door several times.

"Don't mind Ned." Lisa chuckled to the dog and baby.

"He's a little over-the-top with religion." Bart told them as he made the cuckoo sign.

"Oh, Bart," Lisa sighed as she rang the doorbell, "He's not-" she watched Ned peeking from the window and began thinking of reasons. But were there any? "Never mind."

The door opened to reveal Homer with a can of Duff Beer. "H-hey guys!" How are you?"

"OK, Homer, how much d'you drink now?" Bart sighed.

"What yo talkin' 'bout?" Homer asked, obviously drunk.

"You look like Angry Dad!" Stewie realised, then turning to Brian, "I can't believe we're actually with both Bart and-"

"Hey, look!" Homer picked up Stewie by the head, as if he were a football, "A talking football!" he then turned to the right, "Hey, Peter! Go long!"

Homer threw Stewie over to Peter, whose presence shocked the rest of the Griffins.

"Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!" Peter laughed as Stewie landed in his arms. The Griffin man instantly recognised the 'ball', "Heyyy, Stewie! D-d-daddy's having his daddy time right now."

Before Peter threw Stewie into the other room, Meg ran over and took the baby, "Dad!"

Peter quickly went sober, "Oh, look! It's my assface daughter! She's so fat…" despite thinking straight, Peter couldn't finish his sentence and went unconscious.

"Hey, Meg." Bart called, "You guys know that tub of lardass?"

Homer too went sober and put his hands on his son's throat, "Why, you little-"

Stewie and Brian watched in horror as the Simpson boy was throttled by his own father. This was something that they couldn't believe was actually happening. At that moment, another dog entered the hall. It was very skinny, as you could see the ribcase structure on it's chest. It watched Bart and Homer with shock and bit Homer's hand.

"Ow!" Homer moaned as he let go of Bart, but immediately went for the dog, "Why you little-"

"Santa's Little Helper!" Bart called in despair.

Luckily, Homer went unconscious before he could even reach the dog. Bart, Lisa, Meg, Chris, Stewie and Brian watched in silence until Bart and Lisa asked, "Wanna ditch these guys for the arcade?"

Everyone went back outside to go to the arcade and enjoy themselves. But soon after Lois and another woman came through the front door.

"Homey, I'm home!" the woman called out, "And I brought a-" she then focused her attention to her husband's body on the floor, "Of course."

Lois saw Peter's body in the next room as well, "Oh, Marge, I'm sorry for my husband's incompetence. He's just stupid sometimes! Oh, I married a village idiot!"

"I can relate." Marge commented as she poked Homer's stomach.


	5. First Night

_My next chapter for The Simpsons Guy. Just to let you know, I've made more Brewie references in this chapter than before, but what happens when jealousy stirs and when someone can't tolerate Stewie being with Brian and vice versa?_

_If you remember, I introduced you guys to a load of characters from The Simpsons in the last two chapters (Bart, Lisa, Homer, Burns mentioned, Moe, Marge, Santa's Little Helper), but what I didn't do was introduce you the character that would be the star (along with Bart) regarding Simpsons characters. They'll be appearing in this chapter._

_Here's the story._

* * *

**Chapter Five – First Night**

A few minutes later, Homer was relaxing in the chair while Peter was relaxing on the couch in the front room. Lois, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Chris, Meg, Brian and Stewie stood around the two men, with different expressions on their faces. Marge and Lois were both angry, while all the kids (and Brian) were simply annoyed yet not fazed by the situation, after having dealt with this type of situation before.

Marge was the first one to speak, "Why were you drunk?"

Lois then added to Peter, "And what's your excuse, Peter?"

"It's not even you usual time to go drinking and already you're more drunk than you are then!" Marge continued.

"And you're supposed to be getting help with our car, Peter!" Lois exclaimed, "What are we going to do in the meantime?"

Homer spoke up, "I actually told Peter that you guys could stay with us until the car is fixed."

"You what?!" Marge asked angrily.

"And then maybe for another couple days as well." Peter added, "After all, you did say that we were on vacation Lois, so what's the big deal?"

Lois pinched the bridge of her nose, "Fine, Peter. We'll stay in Springfield."

"But what about the sleeping arrangements?" Marge asked, "This house isn't big enough for ten human tooshies."

Brian did a mental head count of everyone in the room, "There's only nine of us, and that dog over there."

Marge's eyes widened in realisation, "Maggie! I forgot she was taking a nap!" she quickly ran upstairs to retrieve her infant daughter.

"I'll come with you." Lois said as she followed soon after.

"Three kids, eh, Homer?" Peter turned to Homer.

"Eh. They're a huge pain in the ass though." The Simpson father groaned.

"We're the pain in that fat ass of yours?" Bart asked, "You've got to be the laziest person in the whole town. The only reason I say that is because you've managed to find an albino version of yourself."

"Why, you little-" Homer went to strangle Bart again, catching everyone else (with the exception of Lisa) by surprise.

Peter had too got what Bart had said, but only after a few seconds, "Why you son of a-" and he went to strangle Bart as well. This managed to catch everyone by surprise.

"Dad!" Meg and Lisa yelled to their fathers, "Stop it!"

"You little-" Peter made a grab for his daughter and began to strangle her instead. She started to scream, but was muted by suffocating.

"Peter!" yelled a familiar voice from behind.

"Homer!" another familiar voice exclaimed in the same manner.

Both fathers turned around and stopped throttling their oldest child to see their wives in the doorway, with Maggie in Marge's arm.

Marge grabbed Bart's arm gently and pulled away from Homer, "All I do is turn my back and leave the room for a few minutes and what I get when I come back is you teaching another father how to strangle his child!"

"Look, I'm sorry, OK?" Homer pleaded, "But I didn't expect him to strangle Meg, since we were both strangling Bart to begin with."

Lois looked over at her husband, "You what?"

Bart went over to Stewie and Brian while Peter tried to explain, "N-now Lois, there's a good reason a-as to why I did it." He slowly spoke, before crying like a child, "He called me fat!"

"Actually I called Homer fat," Bart corrected, "I used you as a comparison."

Stewie turned to Brian, "Very funny child this one." He said, pointing over to Bart.

"Bring referenced by a child doesn't mean that you go doing something stupid towards him, Peter!" Lois pointed out.

After a while, Peter, Lois, Homer and Marge were alone and back to normal. The kids and Brian all went outside to play and stay away from any danger that Bart and Meg would face. Soon, the mothers called everyone back in to discuss the sleeping situation.

"All right everyone. Here's how it's going to go." Marge began, "Meg will be in Lisa's room and sleep in a sleeping bag. Peter and Lois will sleep in Maggie's room using an old bed we found in the basement. Maggie's crib will go into Bart's room where they'll be accompanied by Stewie. Any questions?"

Chris raised his hand and proceeded to ask a question, "Where will I sleep?"

"Hmm…" Marge pondered, until she finally got an idea, "You can sleep on the red couch down here."

"And what about me?" Brian also asked.

"Well, since you're dog, I'd ask you to sleep with Santa's Little Helper outside or down here on the floor. But since you act like a person and don't smell bad I guess you can sleep in Bart's room with Stewie. Plus I've heard that you're very good with him."

"That's true." Lois agreed, "He takes good care of Stewie for me, especially when Stewie's actual father fails to bond with his own son half the time." She shot a glance at Peter.

Unknown to everyone but Bart, Brian's tail began to wag slightly after the compliments given.

"Oh!" Marge suddenly exclaimed, "I forgot to introduce you guys to one other Simpson." She held out Maggie in front of Stewie, "This is Maggie. She's only one, but she's very wise and clever like her sister and myself."

While Chris and Meg cooed at Maggie, the Simpson baby focused her attention over at Stewie. She felt all warm and fuzzy inside, and started to smile at him. Stewie caught on and moved behind Bart to get out of her sight. She frowned slightly but refocused her attention on Chris and Meg, still making baby noises at her.

"What's with her?" Stewie asked Bart.

"Oh, I dunno." He replied, "Probably just…" he then remembered the look on his baby sister's face and gave a sly smile toward Stewie and whispered, "…that she has a crush on you."

"Really?" Stewie questioned.

"Yep. You wanna watch some more Angry Dad cartoons with the one who made them?"

"Oh, boy!" Stewie jumped in excitement as he held Bart's hand and went to the boy's bedroom.

Brian and Maggie exchanged sad looks as they saw the two leave. Brian went on to follow the two while Maggie just stayed where she was, because she couldn't leave.

Later, Marge and Lois had prepared dinner for everyone as they placed plates in front of everyone. Everyone sat down in their seats. Homer and Marge were next to each other, with the former at the end of the table, Peter sat on the other side of Homer while Lois sat next to Marge. Lisa and Meg sat next to Peter while Chris sat at the other end of the table. Bart sat next to Lois while Stewie and Maggie sat in highchairs placed next to Bart and close to each other (Maggie managed to shuffle her chair, as well as cornering Stewie.). Santa's Little Helper, along with the Simpsons' other pet Snowball II, ate their food on the floor, the latter eating in the kitchen instead. The only one who was not sitting down was Brian.

"Where am I sitting?" he asked Marge.

"Oh, yeah." The Simpson mother realised. "Since you are a dog, you'll be eating with Santa's Little Helper on the floor. Nothing personal, but I don't think dogs should sit at the table. Plus it'll be great if you made friends with him. We don't let him leave the house much because he's too hyper."

Brian sighed. There was no way he could change this woman's mind. He sat down near Santa's Little Helper, but kept to himself near the highchairs. He used his cutlery to eat, but before he could have his first bite he was put off by the other dog's behavior.

"Do I have to eat here?" he asked.

"Yes." Marge responded, "You may act like a human and be able to talk, but you're still a dog."

"But I eat with the family at home."

"But Brian," Lois interjected, "Remember in that Snoopy movie where he couldn't go into that apartment building because no dogs were allowed?"

"Yeah."

"It's more-or-less the same kind of situation. Now please, just eat or go lie down on top on Santa's Little Helper's dog house."

Brian reluctantly ate his food.

"So, Bart," Stewie began a light private conversation between him and Bart, "What do you think of these?" he pulled out some clothing identical to Bart's but in his size. He also pulled out another pair that was slightly smaller than Bart's and gave it to Brian, "Here. Have this."

"Stewie, what the hell is this?" Bart asked.

"It's your clothing in my size. I made them out of old clothes of yours."

"What about Brian's?"

Stewie looked back at Brian and his size of Bart's outfit; the dog seemed to also want to know where it came from, "Oh, yeah. Actually, that's one of yours that I found." He chuckled sheepishly.

"Why?" Brian and Bart could only say.

"Because you've got to be the most interesting and inspiring person I know of."

"Well, I guess it's nice to know that someone's looking up to me." The Simpson boy concluded, before he carried on eating.

Stewie put on the clothes. He was interrupted from getting another mouthful in when a small hand gently touch his shoulder. He turned around to see Maggie holding a piece of paper in her other hand. It had a hand drawn picture of her and Stewie with a red heart in-between. She smiled sweetly as she handed it to him. Stewie reluctantly took the picture.

"Thanks. I like it a lot." The Griffin baby smiled.

He then put it down next to him but it was picked up by Brian, who looked at the picture. He looked at it for a while before crumpling it up and throwing it behind him, which accidently bounced off Bart's head. Bart opened up the paper the see the paper. He smiled before handing over to Lois.

"Look at this." He said to her, "I think Maggie likes Stewie."

Lois looked at the picture. She smiled and then announced, "Look, everyone. Maggie drew a pretty picture of her and Stewie."

Maggie and Stewie both looked at everyone looking at them and the picture. They all looked like they felt the same way as Lois. Brian got a sad expression on his face, but this was unnoticed by everyone. Everyone but Bart. Bart got up and took Brian's hand.

"Can you come with me? We need to talk." He ordered.

Brian obeyed and went into the living room with the boy.

"What is it?" Brian asked.

"Are you OK? You've been acting weird ever since I took Stewie upstairs and watched Angry Dad with him."

"How'd you see me follow you?" Brian questioned.

"It's pretty easy to tell when we were upstairs."

"Oh."

"And then you got all upset when Maggie gave Stewie the picture."

"Oh, that? That was nothing." Brian inhaled deeply to show courage.

Bart looked doubtful, "It didn't seem like it was nothing. You were the one the crumpled up the picture."

Brian looked upset, and confessed, "It's just that I'm used to Stewie giving me all his attention, that's all. But Maggie was as upset as I was when you two left."

"Maggie doesn't meet a lot of people. She doesn't go to daycare, so she doesn't meet a lot of people her age. She's probably obsessing over him like he is with me. She'll budge and leave him alone."

Brian chuckled at Stewie's clinginess to Bart, "Yeah, Stewie's just obsessed with you at the moment. But don't be mad about the clothes issue. He's just a bit crazy when it comes to meeting his idols."

"Hey, it's cool."

Stewie then walked in, "Hey, guys! What did I miss? Are you getting B-ri to put on that outfit?"

"Hey, Stewie." Brian greeted.

"Are you OK, Brian?" Stewie asked, "You're awfully sad… even more than usual."

"I'm fine."

Bart smirked slightly, "He's just jealous."

While Brian shot a glare at Bart, Stewie tried to figure out why, "Why would you be jealous, Bri?"

"You're hanging out with Bart and you seem to like Maggie, and I like it when you pay attention to me. You're ignoring me a little." The dog explained.

"First off, I do not have a thing for Maggie," Stewie daggered, "And secondly, I like you more than I do Bart. Remember that you're my best friend and you're irreplaceable."

Brian smiled and wagged his tail at the compliments, "Thanks Stewie." He then went and gave the child a young embrace.

Bart smiled at such a happy scene. He failed to notice that Maggie had heard every word from where she was and had a look of sadness when the three walked back into the room.

"Mom, we're done." Bart announced as he picked up his already empty plate and carried it off into the kitchen as Brian and Stewie did the same. Bart then came back in and picked up Maggie and took her with him.

"You're son seems rather nice, Marge." Lois commented.

"He's my special little guy." Marge looked over to see Homer staring at her in jealousy.

"Sure! He gets to be the special guy even though he insulted his old man! Do your kids ever insult you, Peter?"

"All the time." Peter answered as Lois shot him a look.

"Don't listen to him. He doesn't like Meg that much, which is why he said that." She explained.

"What's wrong with your daughter?" Marge asked the Griffin father.

"Absolutely nothing!" Meg intervened, "I'm a good student, I'm nice and yet he still doesn't like me."

"Shut up, Meg." Peter snapped angrily.

"Peter!" Lois quickly said.

Meg pointed over to her father, "See?"

All Marge could say was a simple moaning sound under her breath.

Lisa raised from her chair and took her plate, "Meg, you wanna get out of here now?"

"My pleasure." She left the room with the Simpson girl, feeling rather sad over what had recently occurred.

"Poor Meg." Marge and Lois said sadly and in unison.

Peter and Homer looked at each other and made gagging noises, much to their wives' dismay.

Later that night, everyone was in their beds and sleeping bags (and floors and couches), falling asleep. In Bart's room, Stewie and Maggie were sleeping in the same cot, and on opposite sides. Maggie still held the picture from earlier and held it tightly in her slumber. Stewie, however, was not asleep. He tossed and turned and looked at the baby girl in front of him.

He thought of how she was when she was around him, and he had to admit to himself that she was also a very sweet baby like he was, or at least how he imagined himself to be. He also had the tiniest crush on her, but didn't think he would actually fall in love with her.

He then shivered as a cold breeze filled the room.

It was now too freezing for Stewie to fall asleep now, even when he covered his entire body with the blanket. He looked down to see Brian on the floor sleeping near his side. He jumped out of the crib, landing on Bart's bed. He then jumped quietly onto the floor and rested his head on Brian's soft white fur. His eyes suddenly drooped as he fell asleep.

Brian opened one eye slightly to see his best friend sleeping with his head lying on his chest. He put his arms around Stewie and smiled before going straight back into his peaceful slumber.

Maggie watched with one eye half open. She closed it again, only allowing a single tear to fall across her cheek.

* * *

_Sad, huh? It's an odd chapter, but work with me here._

_Also, I'm focusing on Bart and Maggie being with Stewie and Brian. SLH may join in but he's irrelevant. Homer and Peter aren't as major as they were in the official crossover. Marge and Lois will appear moreso than the crossover (this chapter alone features them together more than in the episode). Lisa and Meg... aren't the most important but have shown to be a good pairing in the last chapters. Chris is merely a very minor character. That's why Marge has put him on the couch and not a bedroom!_

_Next chapter will be out soon, but I'm working on my Toons Together stuff with Stewie and Brian in it as well as The Fox Is Coming, a Nicktoons/FOX crossover._


End file.
